That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
