I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
