Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
