I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
