You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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