ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize