She said her name was "party"
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
