My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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