He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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