dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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