coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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