My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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