you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
