Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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