if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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