I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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