Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
