i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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