my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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