So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
