office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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