Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
