Buhtt sex?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
