I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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