i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
