Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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