This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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