Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
