you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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