OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
