There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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