you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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