only if we run a train.
done.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
