i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
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I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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