i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
