I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
