I will die if light touches me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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