you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
