my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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