Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
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Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
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I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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