are you so shy because you have an std?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
