my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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