You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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