Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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