Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize