Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
