I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
