Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
