ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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