A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
COCAINE IS GR8
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
