Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
