brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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