Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Four minutes until I can fart!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
