can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
