Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So. Much. Porn.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
