I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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