dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
