I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
