She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
