i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
