Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
