Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
