the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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