He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I got chris browned last night
I can text with my tongue
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
