it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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