you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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