good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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